Chapter 1 Living alone
I was born in Yokohama. I heard that I was born on a very hot day.The family consisted of a family of four with a father, mother, and one sister.
My dad was a serious painter and a lens technician at a Nikon factory.
My father was always sighing. It was that highly educated people who were younger than me got to good posts one after another before my post.
I knew it long after I knew it from my dad’s somniloquy
My father was an impatient person. He left home before 6 o’clock, even though he left home at around 7 o’clock and was able to commute at 8 o’clock in time.
Naturally, the gate of the company was closed, and it seems that the guard said, “It’s always early” and it became a daily routine to drink tea in the guard room. ..
Although my father was usually a kind person
He was always angry at his sleep.
He must have been very stressed.
My mother was always cheerful and fun with “Sazae-san’s hairstyle” in the anime. Because of that she was also popular in her neighborhood.
My mother and father were worried and worked very hard for some purpose.
At that time, my mother had a job in her house, and she was sitting in front of a small folding chabudai from morning till night, doing the job of soldering mechanical parts.
When I was six, her mother decided that she wasted time going to the bathroom, and she broke her body because she worked hard.
One day, when my mother and I went to a nearby dentist’s office, there was a step of about 40 cm on the floor at the entrance of the dentist’s door.
I was wondering why her mother’s legs couldn’t go ahead because of the steps.
At that time, red spots with a diameter of about 10 CM were peeking from her mother’s thighs to her ankles.
This later turned out to be a sign of rectal cancer.
Eventually she began to bleed during defecation and said the town doctor’s judgment was hemorrhoids. That’s why finding cancer was delayed.
I guess I didn’t know much about cancer around 1963, unlike now. One year later, I was hospitalized and had surgery.
At that time, the surgery was said to be successful. The surgery forced her mother to put on her artificial anus, and I think she was discharged after more than a year.
At that time, our family lived in a company house. Since her mother was hospitalized, her sister, who was in the sixth grade of elementary school, was doing her best to do the housework.
Well, I’m in 6th grade, so I don’t think I can make delicious food.
I don’t remember what I was making anymore, but my sister had been enthusiastic about making lunch because my elementary school lunch wasn’t available.
I remember that maybe it was a fried egg or a miserable egg in the lunch box. Maybe I complained, my eldest daughter, who became a devil’s face, felt very scared
When I returned from school in May of my second year of elementary school, her mother was at home.
I was surprised because nothing was heard from my dad.
Later I was told by her father.
The reason my dad took my mother out of the hospital in the middle of the night was because the doctor didn’t give me permission to leave the hospital and the two of us sneaked out of the hospital.
Perhaps my mother felt her death was near.
So her mother would have desperately asked her father to come back without her permission to leave the hospital.
By all means, her mother’s complexion was dull, and her cheeks were thin and I knew that she wasn’t in good shape as a child.
The bedridden mother was wearing disposable diapers and her mother couldn’t handle it herself.
So I changed her diaper before I went to school.
At that time my mother always crumpled her face
She cried, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
When I cry, a horizontal wrinkle is formed under her nose and between her mouth, which I remember impressively.
A month later, on June 5, my mother’s short life was over.
She was 39 years old.